Have you ever been around someone who seems to generate their own positive stratosphere? Someone you can’t help being drawn to, appreciating their words of wisdom as well as their very presence?
I’ve had a few coaches that fit the bill. And the odd stand-out colleague. They’re the ones where you think, “I want to be like her when I grow up.”
Magnetic leaders are mesmerising, influential, and engaging. They’re generous, warm, and you just want to hang out in their bubble.
So what’s the secret?
It’s not a big personality. It’s not charisma in a life-of-the-party sense of the word. They don’t necessarily need to command the centre of attention or collect accolades.
A magnetic leader expands beyond their own personal needs with a vision grander than themselves and their own immediate sphere of influence. Simply, they intend to make a difference on a grand scale, for the greater good.
Sounds a bit altruistic.
Can anyone really be that self-less?
And here’s their secret:
Magnetic leaders are relentless disciplinarians of self-love.
Now I’m not going all hippy-like on you – self-love as an integral leadership practise ought to be your first priority, whether you are chief executive of a multi-conglomerate or head of a family unit.
Self-love is a critical leadership strategy: you simply cannot invite others to share from your cup if it’s empty. This is not just about pampering and good hygiene (though this is a wonderful expression of self-love).
Self-love as a practise includes the following:
Genuine and frequent appreciation of your achievements.
Deep compassion for yourself, especially for all past wrongs you berate yourself for.
Self-talk that is nurturing and not self-deprecating. Even the little ‘inconsequential’ messages make a difference. You’ll be amazed when you start catching yourself saying ‘you idiot’ or ‘dummy’ and so on when you drop a glass, forget to save a document, or stub your toe. Your subconscious doesn’t know you did not really mean it – it takes you literally. So when you stuff up, it’s not ‘hey stupid you better fix that one up quick-smart’, it’s ‘hey sweetheart, looks like this is an opportunity for personal growth’. Be gentle on yourself.
An abundance of time and space where you can indulge your soul in things that uplift – reading, listening to music, a walk in the woods – whatever it is that lights you up. There are plenty you ways to show yourself that you matter, that you deserve pleasure and happiness – ‘just because’ – and not because you’ve somehow earned it.
You don’t earn self-love – you just do it. No one will treat you as well as you deserve when you don’t do it for yourself.
And I don’t want to hear, “I don’t have the time to…’ If the President of the USA and the Prime Minister of Australia can find time exercise and manage a self-love routine – then you can too.